he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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