I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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