I wish I could punch you in the face.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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