Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
