and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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