Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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