And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
