sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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