We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
