Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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