There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
