Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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