In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
