she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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