i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
