You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
