Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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