I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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