so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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