i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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