I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
