...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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