Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
