I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
