Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
