You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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