i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize