Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
