you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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