drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
