Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Barsexuality is the new black.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
