Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
As shirtless as possible
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize