I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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