he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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