I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
