drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
