dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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