I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
