doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
