Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I love you. Go after that dick
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
