All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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