ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
