Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
