Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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