I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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