so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
