I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
