Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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