neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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