The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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