Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
