remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
