chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize