I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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