Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize