i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
