Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
