I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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