this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize