I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
