So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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