just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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