I need help removing her.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
