why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
