ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
