But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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