Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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